She loved him so much, but her heart ached every time she looked into his eyes.  This was wrong. Her world would fall apart if someone found out about this. Worse, if he found out about this.

As she looked into his eyes, she sank into them. She knew, and he understood. But this was wrong.

Its been over 3 years now and I have not seen his face once. I see it every day in my dreams, and have continuously for the past three years. I am living a lie, and have no plans of changing it. Surprising how many of us lead entire lives based on lies. Why is being selfish so bad? And so hard.

It was going to rain, the sky was darkening and the air was charging up. As the wind picked up, the curtains danced along with it. She knew it was time to leave, but somehow she could not move. He stood at the door, looking out into the sky, letting the wind play with his hair. Her heart ached at the sight, longed to trail her fingers over his closed eyes, down his beautiful face. The chair fell back as she got up too fast, he turned slowly and looked straight into her eyes. Their lives would never be the same again.

I burnt my hand while making coffee, usually happened when it was about to rain. My mind refused to budge from that day, that memory. This is what kept me alive and breathing anyway. My heart ached again, but this time for all that could have been and was not.

Her face betrayed every emotion, her eyes spoke every secret, and he heard everything. The distance seemed infinite as he walked towards her, her emotions making a journey of their own. He did not doubt it for a second, he had felt it the first time he saw her, fear of losing what precious little they had, holding him back. Not anymore, he knew it was the right time. Her head bent down as he stood in front of her, submission maybe, or maybe fear of what was about to happen. Thunder rippled across the sky, relaying her treachery to the world.

I knew today was going to be no different, I would be lost all day, the rain creating illusions in my head. Somewhere this rain fell on him too, the thought warming me inside, that we are joined in some contorted way at least, that somehow we had managed to defeat destiny, in a small way. Small joys bring more happiness to me than all the big things put together.  The small straws I grasped at, to make sense of life and stay sane. All in vain, as I found no answer to why we could not be.